Changing Minds vs Beating Up Someone

I went to work the other day with a cut under my eye that I received while sparring with some over-enthusiastic white-belts at BJJ the night before.  I teach middle school and I don’t like to let these kids into too much of my personal life but I have to explain this or nothing will be accomplished the entire class because 12-14 years old … don’t get me started on these kids, but you can’t just talk to them like adults.  So, I told them I got the injuries doing Jiu Jitsu.  I told them that Jiu Jitsu is a martial art that means Gentle Art.

Can you guess the comment shouted from all 4 teaching periods?… “IT DOESN’T LOOK GENTLE!”

In each teaching period my explanation transformed from using the idea of “beating up” someone (and preventing the start of the rumor that my injuries were from me getting “beat up”) to that I sustained my injuries helping another fighter “change his mind.”   I tell them that the person that “beats up” someone has lost control but control is a big part of BJJ, so losing that control would be counter-productive.

When I roll with white-belts, first and foremost, I’m protecting myself but I’m leaving myself open to create opportunities for them to perform and strengthen basic and proper techniques.  However, it’s just a matter of time before the ego kicks in and as the instructor, I need to help “change their mind” about their priority of approach.  Example: I have a white-belt in my closed guard and he/she gets frustrated and fatigued with trying to escape my guard, but instead of trying the techniques over and over, that white-belt decides to take the opportunity to reach both hands forward and tries to choke my neck.  The path for me is to not break their arms, but to help them “change their mind” about that move.  This is the beauty of BJJ, I can apply just enough pressure to meet the occasion and still keep the forward movement of the lesson and return to giving my sparring partner the opportunity to learn how to escape my guard.

In real life, if someone is bothered about something I may (or may not) do, my main goal is to move forward with my life with the least amount of interference, human or otherwise, while addressing what has been assumed to warrant the interference.  A Jiu Jitsu mentality is great for handling over-enthusiastic white-belt moments in life (physical and mental) when learning opportunities are completely ignored because someone’s ego kicks in on a race for dominance and well, someone gets “beat up”… BTW, this beating can come in many forms in life that hurt way more than a hit to the face …think pockets, freedom and pride.

Don’t get me wrong, an ass-whipping can be a great learning tool and one helluva mind-changer but I like to think of Jiu Jitsu as a method that allows my opponent the ability to decide something the person that gets “beat up” didn’t choose…to simply change directions and head down another road … mainly by leaving me alone.   Most of my students accepted this explanation but others questioned further…but those are the same kids that no answer will satisfy them … I work to change their minds too…before they get “beat up.”